Transcript
Hey, welcome back. Alright, let's talk about a warning sign that’s really similar to the last one, but it shows up in a totally different way. It’s all about their schedule. Or more specifically, how their schedule suddenly doesn't make any sense anymore.
Think about it: cheating takes time. It’s not something that happens in a magical void; it requires real hours carved out of the day. Since no one can magically add more hours to their week, that time has to be stolen from somewhere, and often, it’s stolen from the time they used to spend with you.
You know your partner's rhythm. Maybe they work 9-to-5, hit the gym a few times a week, and see friends on Thursdays. There's a predictable flow. But when something's off, that flow starts to glitch.
Here’s what to look out for.
They're suddenly "super busy" with vague plans.
All of a sudden, their calendar is packed. But when you ask what they're doing, the answers are vague and hard to pin down. There’s always "something" going on—an urgent work thing, a last-minute errand, a "friend" who needs them. The one constant is that you're never invited.
Their schedule becomes a fog. Evenings, weekends, and lazy Sunday mornings that you used to share are now filled with this mysterious "stuff." You'll hear a lot of non-committal lines like:
• “I’ve got stuff on this weekend.”
• “I’m just flat out all week, sorry.”
• “Not sure what my plan is yet, I’ll let you know.”
Plans you make together start to feel shaky. They cancel dinner because something came up again. The things you used to count on start slipping away, leaving you feeling like you’re a backup option, not a priority.
The next thing you might notice is they suddenly encourage you to go out... a lot.
You might notice they get really happy when you have your own plans. That trip with your friends you were planning? They’re suddenly your biggest cheerleader. A night out with your coworkers? They can’t encourage you enough to go.
If this enthusiastic support seems out of character, it’s a major red flag. Your absence gives them a block of guaranteed, risk-free time to spend with someone else.
This is also why they might suddenly take a keen interest in your schedule. You’ll get questions like:
• “What time is your class on Wednesday again?”
• “You’re still working late on Thursday, right?”
They’re not asking because they miss you; they’re gathering information to figure out when the coast is clear.
When someone is trying to live two lives, their stories get messy and their calendar starts to glitch. It doesn’t line up with what they say. You might hear a lot of:
“Oh, I’m just running out for a bit.”
“Don’t wait up, I’ve got to stop by the office.”
“I made last-minute plans with the guys.”
You might notice that even the plans they do make don’t stick. They say they’ll be out all weekend, then suddenly they’re not. The night they said they’ll be busy with work? They cancel whatever it was, or say it was rescheduled.
And they just slide back into your time like nothing happened.
One girl said that her boyfriend had a routine like clockwork, home by 6, dinner, chill. Then out of nowhere, he’s staying late for “meetings” that didn’t exist before. But when she tried to ask about them, he’d get defensive or throw out this vague line like, “It’s just boring stuff, you wouldn’t care.” But that “boring stuff” became every other night. And then weekends.
Or maybe it’s the opposite, their calendar becomes super locked in, but weirdly private. Like they’ve now got this rigid weekly routine, but you don’t know what any of it actually is. You’re not invited. You’re not included. You’re not even told.
They also stop including you in their plans. No more shared calendars, no more “let’s do this together.” When you suggest something, they don’t really commit. “I don’t want to lock anything in yet, work’s been crazy.” “I’ll let you know closer to the day, yeah?” Everything’s last-minute now. They’re always checking their own availability but never really interested in yours.
It all adds up to a feeling of instability. You’re left constantly guessing where they are, who they’re with, and why their plans are always changing. It’s exhausting, so you might even stop asking just to avoid the vague, frustrating answers.
Now, I'm not saying every single schedule change is a red flag. People's jobs do change. Life gets busy. But here’s the crucial difference: when someone loves you and wants to stay close, they include you in the changes. They'll say, "Hey, work's been crazy, but let's make sure we do breakfast together Saturday." Or, "I joined this new gym class, wanna come check it out with me?" They invite you into their new world.
When a partner is hiding something, they use change to exclude you. The new parts of their life happen away from you, without you, and often, push you out.
It’s not just that life is getting in the way of your relationship, it’s that they are actively arranging their life so you’re not in it.
Read More
Transcript
Hey, welcome back. Alright, let's talk about a warning sign that’s really similar to the last one, but it shows up in a totally different way. It’s all about their schedule. Or more specifically, how their schedule suddenly doesn't make any sense anymore.
Think about it: cheating takes time. It’s not something that happens in a magical void; it requires real hours carved out of the day. Since no one can magically add more hours to their week, that time has to be stolen from somewhere, and often, it’s stolen from the time they used to spend with you.
You know your partner's rhythm. Maybe they work 9-to-5, hit the gym a few times a week, and see friends on Thursdays. There's a predictable flow. But when something's off, that flow starts to glitch.
Here’s what to look out for.
They're suddenly "super busy" with vague plans.
All of a sudden, their calendar is packed. But when you ask what they're doing, the answers are vague and hard to pin down. There’s always "something" going on—an urgent work thing, a last-minute errand, a "friend" who needs them. The one constant is that you're never invited.
Their schedule becomes a fog. Evenings, weekends, and lazy Sunday mornings that you used to share are now filled with this mysterious "stuff." You'll hear a lot of non-committal lines like:
• “I’ve got stuff on this weekend.”
• “I’m just flat out all week, sorry.”
• “Not sure what my plan is yet, I’ll let you know.”
Plans you make together start to feel shaky. They cancel dinner because something came up again. The things you used to count on start slipping away, leaving you feeling like you’re a backup option, not a priority.
The next thing you might notice is they suddenly encourage you to go out... a lot.
You might notice they get really happy when you have your own plans. That trip with your friends you were planning? They’re suddenly your biggest cheerleader. A night out with your coworkers? They can’t encourage you enough to go.
If this enthusiastic support seems out of character, it’s a major red flag. Your absence gives them a block of guaranteed, risk-free time to spend with someone else.
This is also why they might suddenly take a keen interest in your schedule. You’ll get questions like:
• “What time is your class on Wednesday again?”
• “You’re still working late on Thursday, right?”
They’re not asking because they miss you; they’re gathering information to figure out when the coast is clear.
When someone is trying to live two lives, their stories get messy and their calendar starts to glitch. It doesn’t line up with what they say. You might hear a lot of:
“Oh, I’m just running out for a bit.”
“Don’t wait up, I’ve got to stop by the office.”
“I made last-minute plans with the guys.”
You might notice that even the plans they do make don’t stick. They say they’ll be out all weekend, then suddenly they’re not. The night they said they’ll be busy with work? They cancel whatever it was, or say it was rescheduled.
And they just slide back into your time like nothing happened.
One girl said that her boyfriend had a routine like clockwork, home by 6, dinner, chill. Then out of nowhere, he’s staying late for “meetings” that didn’t exist before. But when she tried to ask about them, he’d get defensive or throw out this vague line like, “It’s just boring stuff, you wouldn’t care.” But that “boring stuff” became every other night. And then weekends.
Or maybe it’s the opposite, their calendar becomes super locked in, but weirdly private. Like they’ve now got this rigid weekly routine, but you don’t know what any of it actually is. You’re not invited. You’re not included. You’re not even told.
They also stop including you in their plans. No more shared calendars, no more “let’s do this together.” When you suggest something, they don’t really commit. “I don’t want to lock anything in yet, work’s been crazy.” “I’ll let you know closer to the day, yeah?” Everything’s last-minute now. They’re always checking their own availability but never really interested in yours.
It all adds up to a feeling of instability. You’re left constantly guessing where they are, who they’re with, and why their plans are always changing. It’s exhausting, so you might even stop asking just to avoid the vague, frustrating answers.
Now, I'm not saying every single schedule change is a red flag. People's jobs do change. Life gets busy. But here’s the crucial difference: when someone loves you and wants to stay close, they include you in the changes. They'll say, "Hey, work's been crazy, but let's make sure we do breakfast together Saturday." Or, "I joined this new gym class, wanna come check it out with me?" They invite you into their new world.
When a partner is hiding something, they use change to exclude you. The new parts of their life happen away from you, without you, and often, push you out.
It’s not just that life is getting in the way of your relationship, it’s that they are actively arranging their life so you’re not in it.
Read More
Transcript
Hey, welcome back. Alright, let's talk about a warning sign that’s really similar to the last one, but it shows up in a totally different way. It’s all about their schedule. Or more specifically, how their schedule suddenly doesn't make any sense anymore.
Think about it: cheating takes time. It’s not something that happens in a magical void; it requires real hours carved out of the day. Since no one can magically add more hours to their week, that time has to be stolen from somewhere, and often, it’s stolen from the time they used to spend with you.
You know your partner's rhythm. Maybe they work 9-to-5, hit the gym a few times a week, and see friends on Thursdays. There's a predictable flow. But when something's off, that flow starts to glitch.
Here’s what to look out for.
They're suddenly "super busy" with vague plans.
All of a sudden, their calendar is packed. But when you ask what they're doing, the answers are vague and hard to pin down. There’s always "something" going on—an urgent work thing, a last-minute errand, a "friend" who needs them. The one constant is that you're never invited.
Their schedule becomes a fog. Evenings, weekends, and lazy Sunday mornings that you used to share are now filled with this mysterious "stuff." You'll hear a lot of non-committal lines like:
• “I’ve got stuff on this weekend.”
• “I’m just flat out all week, sorry.”
• “Not sure what my plan is yet, I’ll let you know.”
Plans you make together start to feel shaky. They cancel dinner because something came up again. The things you used to count on start slipping away, leaving you feeling like you’re a backup option, not a priority.
The next thing you might notice is they suddenly encourage you to go out... a lot.
You might notice they get really happy when you have your own plans. That trip with your friends you were planning? They’re suddenly your biggest cheerleader. A night out with your coworkers? They can’t encourage you enough to go.
If this enthusiastic support seems out of character, it’s a major red flag. Your absence gives them a block of guaranteed, risk-free time to spend with someone else.
This is also why they might suddenly take a keen interest in your schedule. You’ll get questions like:
• “What time is your class on Wednesday again?”
• “You’re still working late on Thursday, right?”
They’re not asking because they miss you; they’re gathering information to figure out when the coast is clear.
When someone is trying to live two lives, their stories get messy and their calendar starts to glitch. It doesn’t line up with what they say. You might hear a lot of:
“Oh, I’m just running out for a bit.”
“Don’t wait up, I’ve got to stop by the office.”
“I made last-minute plans with the guys.”
You might notice that even the plans they do make don’t stick. They say they’ll be out all weekend, then suddenly they’re not. The night they said they’ll be busy with work? They cancel whatever it was, or say it was rescheduled.
And they just slide back into your time like nothing happened.
One girl said that her boyfriend had a routine like clockwork, home by 6, dinner, chill. Then out of nowhere, he’s staying late for “meetings” that didn’t exist before. But when she tried to ask about them, he’d get defensive or throw out this vague line like, “It’s just boring stuff, you wouldn’t care.” But that “boring stuff” became every other night. And then weekends.
Or maybe it’s the opposite, their calendar becomes super locked in, but weirdly private. Like they’ve now got this rigid weekly routine, but you don’t know what any of it actually is. You’re not invited. You’re not included. You’re not even told.
They also stop including you in their plans. No more shared calendars, no more “let’s do this together.” When you suggest something, they don’t really commit. “I don’t want to lock anything in yet, work’s been crazy.” “I’ll let you know closer to the day, yeah?” Everything’s last-minute now. They’re always checking their own availability but never really interested in yours.
It all adds up to a feeling of instability. You’re left constantly guessing where they are, who they’re with, and why their plans are always changing. It’s exhausting, so you might even stop asking just to avoid the vague, frustrating answers.
Now, I'm not saying every single schedule change is a red flag. People's jobs do change. Life gets busy. But here’s the crucial difference: when someone loves you and wants to stay close, they include you in the changes. They'll say, "Hey, work's been crazy, but let's make sure we do breakfast together Saturday." Or, "I joined this new gym class, wanna come check it out with me?" They invite you into their new world.
When a partner is hiding something, they use change to exclude you. The new parts of their life happen away from you, without you, and often, push you out.
It’s not just that life is getting in the way of your relationship, it’s that they are actively arranging their life so you’re not in it.