The Kids Feel It

One of the most disgusting things a cheater can do is drag your children into their mess.

You might think, "Surely they wouldn’t involve the kids. That’s crossing a line." But that’s exactly what cheaters do. They cross lines.

It usually starts small. They stop showing up for your kids. No more helping with homework. No more silly nicknames. No more asking how their day was. They check out.

You ask what's wrong, and they’ll list off a bunch of the same old excuses: "I'm tired." "I'm stressed." "I've got a lot on my mind."

But you know it's not just work. Something is fundamentally broken. It’s heartbreaking. One woman said her little girl looked at her and asked, "Why doesn't Daddy want to play with me anymore?"

How do you even answer that?

All their time and energy is going to someone else, so what’s left for the family? Not much. Kids don't need to know the word "cheating" to feel that the love is gone. And the worst part? They think it's their fault.

But it gets so much worse than just being distant. Some cheaters actually start using the kids as cover. As props. As tiny human shields for their affair.

They’ll take the kids on a fun day out, but it's really just a chance to meet up with the other woman. Then they'll whisper, "Don't tell Mom we saw Sarah, okay? She wouldn't understand."

One woman found out her ex took their son on a father-son weekend, but he was actually sharing a hotel bed with another woman while their son was in the next room watching cartoons. I mean, what kind of person does that?

Others will just flat-out ask them to lie.

“Don’t tell Mum about today, okay?” “We’re going to keep this a secret.”

Psychologists warn how damaging this can be. When a parent asks a child to hide something from the other parent, it teaches them that lying is okay as long as it keeps someone happy. It creates co-dependency, anxiety, and a warped sense of loyalty. Kids feel torn, like they have to choose sides, even though no child should ever be put in that position. That’s not fair. And it’s not okay.

Some cheaters turn the kids into little messengers, or worse, use them to make themselves look like the fun parent. Suddenly, they’re buying presents and showing off for the kids, not out of love, but to protect their image.

Or they'll start trashing you to the kids. "Your mom is just being dramatic." "She's always looking for a fight." It’s emotional manipulation. It’s confusing and painful for children, and it plants doubt about who they can trust.

And you know what's crazy? A lot of people say the first real "uh-oh" moment wasn't finding a text message. It was a friend or family member pulling them aside and saying, "Hey, is he okay? He seems really different with the kids lately."

When other people start noticing, it's a massive red flag.

So yeah, if your partner is suddenly checked out as a parent, or worse, you find out they're using the kids to cover their tracks and asking them to lie, that is just something you cannot let continue.