“Do all men cheat?"

Alright, let's bring this all together. The most important thing to take away from this section is to trust your gut. That feeling that something is off is often your intuition noticing the very things we've discussed: the quiet distance, the emotional shutdown, or the sudden switches in their mood. We've seen how a guilty partner often reacts in one of three ways. They might start lashing out and picking fights over nothing, or they do a complete 180 and become incredibly affectionate and complimentary, and sometimes they just disappear into themselves, like they're walking around under a gray fog of guilt and depression.

But the real key isn't just a single behavior. It's about the shift from the person you know. Anyone can have a bad day or be stressed from work. But when you see a whole collection of these things happening at once, when they're being distant, and picking fights, and their whole vibe is just off, that’s when you know you need to trust that feeling.

Now, before we jump into the digital red flags, let’s talk about one of the most damaging myths out there: the idea that cheating is normal. That it’s just part of relationships. That all men cheat. Or worse, that it can even be good for a relationship.

It’s everywhere. On Netflix. In books. In songs. Cheating is treated like a juicy plot twist. Something exciting. It gets romanticized, sexualized, made into some wild adventure. Like it’s deep. Or brave. Or passionate.

In her book Lust in Translation, author Pamela Druckerman writes, “It struck me that if you take away extramarital sex, the canon of Western literature would be practically empty.” It’s sad, but also kind of true. Bridgerton, Euphoria, The Notebook, Normal People, Conversations with Friends, there would be no plot without cheating.

But in real life? Cheating isn’t romantic. It’s ugly. It looks like crying alone in your car. Like not being able to eat. Like staying up all night obsessively checking their phone history, wondering when the lies started. It feels like your world falling apart.

But when the world around you keeps treating infidelity like something sexy or fun gossip, it makes you feel like you’re overreacting for being devastated.

There are even people out there, including therapists, who say that cheating can be some kind of opportunity. A way to grow or explore yourself.

In one of the most popular books on infidelity, The State of Affairs by Esther Perel, she pushes that exact idea. At the end of her book, she talks about how infidelity can be this empowering experience. Like the person who cheated is finding freedom. And if you’re hurt? Maybe you’re just jealous. Maybe you’re clinging too hard to old ideas of love.

She even calls some couples who stay together after cheating "explorers." Like, yeah cool, let’s explore how you lied and betrayed me by dragging me into threesomes and swinger parties like a good little cuckold.

But this is exactly the kind of narrative cheaters love. Because it lowers the bar. It tells you to stop expecting loyalty. That monogamy is outdated. That if you want commitment, you’re boring. That if your boyfriend cheats, you should just take a deep breath and get over it.

Men love the line, "All men cheat." Because it gives them a free pass. It tells you not to ask for better. Not to expect more.

But not all men cheat. Some do. But there are many good men out there who stay loyal. Who don’t need to lie or sneak around to feel alive. Who communicate like adults and don’t throw away what they have just to chase attention. You deserve a man like that.

Cheating is not normal, and you are not crazy for wanting honesty. You’re not too much. You’re asking for the bare minimum. If someone can’t give you basic respect and loyalty, they don’t deserve to be in your life. Period.