Transcript
When you’re in a relationship, sex isn’t everything, but it matters. It's one of the things that separates you from just being friends. That's why, when your partner's interest in sex suddenly drops off a cliff, it can be a warning sign. So, let's talk about one of the biggest red flags out there: when he just stops wanting you.
Look, every couple goes through ups and downs in the bedroom. It's totally normal for desire to change over time in a long-term relationship. Life gets stressful, work gets crazy, and you can be exhausted from school, the kids, or dealing with family drama. But we're talking about something different here. We're talking about when you go from being physically connected to feeling like roommates who just happen to share a bed. When a guy pulls away sexually and either doesn't explain why or just gives you vague excuses, that shift is often a sign that something much deeper is going on.
Here’s what this actually looks like. Maybe your boyfriend used to initiate sex a couple of times a week, but now he hasn't touched you in three months. When you try to connect, he says he's tired, has to be up early for work, or his back hurts. There's this rotating list of reasons why tonight isn't a good night, but there's never a conversation about when might be a good time or what's actually wrong.
The difference between someone who is genuinely tired and someone who is actively avoiding you is how they handle it. A partner who really wants to connect with you will find ways to make it happen. They might say, "I'm really wiped out tonight, but I’ll plan something nice for us on the weekend," or, "I've had such a stressful week, but I miss being close to you." Someone who is just going through a rough patch will still acknowledge that it's been a while and show that they want to get that connection back.
On the other hand, someone who is avoiding you sexually because they are getting intimacy somewhere else will just keep putting up walls, with no real effort to fix the distance between you. They won't start conversations about when things might get better or what's causing the problem. They'll just keep brushing you off, hoping you'll eventually stop asking.
Women often need to feel calm, safe, and emotionally connected to enjoy sex, while men often use sex as a way to handle stress. So, if he’s telling you he's stressed but he isn’t turning to you for that physical connection, it could mean he's already getting it somewhere else.
I want to read you a real story that shows you exactly how this plays out in real life. Listen to it and see how many red flags you can notice.
“I was also with an angry man who didn’t want to have sex but blamed it on me for being a ‘prude.’ He would complain that I never initiated conversations, but I explained that it was because his idea of a 'conversation' was just a one-sided lecture. He would start them, get angry, and then list all the things he thought I was doing wrong: I wasn’t neat enough, didn’t do enough housework, didn’t seduce him enough, didn’t pay bills on time, went to bed too early… the list went on.
Then, he just stopped being nice at all and would give me this look like I was disgusting.
I finally couldn’t take it anymore and asked for a separation. Two weeks later, I discovered he’d been cheating on me for at least a year. During all that time he was avoiding sex, I got every excuse: he was working late, he was depressed, he was too tired. I really thought he had a medical problem, so I was patient and tried not to pressure him.
The whole situation messed with my head so much that I ended up in therapy and was even evaluated for ADHD because I couldn’t concentrate. And in the end, he blamed me for the lack of sex. He never cared that I was working full-time, earning more than him, taking care of the kids so he could go out, planning our vacations, and buying our home. He could only focus on the little daily things that went ‘wrong’ according to him, and he never appreciated the big things I did for our family. Sometimes I think she must be made of solid gold, because I can’t imagine any other reason he would give up the wonderful life we had.
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Transcript
When you’re in a relationship, sex isn’t everything, but it matters. It's one of the things that separates you from just being friends. That's why, when your partner's interest in sex suddenly drops off a cliff, it can be a warning sign. So, let's talk about one of the biggest red flags out there: when he just stops wanting you.
Look, every couple goes through ups and downs in the bedroom. It's totally normal for desire to change over time in a long-term relationship. Life gets stressful, work gets crazy, and you can be exhausted from school, the kids, or dealing with family drama. But we're talking about something different here. We're talking about when you go from being physically connected to feeling like roommates who just happen to share a bed. When a guy pulls away sexually and either doesn't explain why or just gives you vague excuses, that shift is often a sign that something much deeper is going on.
Here’s what this actually looks like. Maybe your boyfriend used to initiate sex a couple of times a week, but now he hasn't touched you in three months. When you try to connect, he says he's tired, has to be up early for work, or his back hurts. There's this rotating list of reasons why tonight isn't a good night, but there's never a conversation about when might be a good time or what's actually wrong.
The difference between someone who is genuinely tired and someone who is actively avoiding you is how they handle it. A partner who really wants to connect with you will find ways to make it happen. They might say, "I'm really wiped out tonight, but I’ll plan something nice for us on the weekend," or, "I've had such a stressful week, but I miss being close to you." Someone who is just going through a rough patch will still acknowledge that it's been a while and show that they want to get that connection back.
On the other hand, someone who is avoiding you sexually because they are getting intimacy somewhere else will just keep putting up walls, with no real effort to fix the distance between you. They won't start conversations about when things might get better or what's causing the problem. They'll just keep brushing you off, hoping you'll eventually stop asking.
Women often need to feel calm, safe, and emotionally connected to enjoy sex, while men often use sex as a way to handle stress. So, if he’s telling you he's stressed but he isn’t turning to you for that physical connection, it could mean he's already getting it somewhere else.
I want to read you a real story that shows you exactly how this plays out in real life. Listen to it and see how many red flags you can notice.
“I was also with an angry man who didn’t want to have sex but blamed it on me for being a ‘prude.’ He would complain that I never initiated conversations, but I explained that it was because his idea of a 'conversation' was just a one-sided lecture. He would start them, get angry, and then list all the things he thought I was doing wrong: I wasn’t neat enough, didn’t do enough housework, didn’t seduce him enough, didn’t pay bills on time, went to bed too early… the list went on.
Then, he just stopped being nice at all and would give me this look like I was disgusting.
I finally couldn’t take it anymore and asked for a separation. Two weeks later, I discovered he’d been cheating on me for at least a year. During all that time he was avoiding sex, I got every excuse: he was working late, he was depressed, he was too tired. I really thought he had a medical problem, so I was patient and tried not to pressure him.
The whole situation messed with my head so much that I ended up in therapy and was even evaluated for ADHD because I couldn’t concentrate. And in the end, he blamed me for the lack of sex. He never cared that I was working full-time, earning more than him, taking care of the kids so he could go out, planning our vacations, and buying our home. He could only focus on the little daily things that went ‘wrong’ according to him, and he never appreciated the big things I did for our family. Sometimes I think she must be made of solid gold, because I can’t imagine any other reason he would give up the wonderful life we had.
Read More
Transcript
When you’re in a relationship, sex isn’t everything, but it matters. It's one of the things that separates you from just being friends. That's why, when your partner's interest in sex suddenly drops off a cliff, it can be a warning sign. So, let's talk about one of the biggest red flags out there: when he just stops wanting you.
Look, every couple goes through ups and downs in the bedroom. It's totally normal for desire to change over time in a long-term relationship. Life gets stressful, work gets crazy, and you can be exhausted from school, the kids, or dealing with family drama. But we're talking about something different here. We're talking about when you go from being physically connected to feeling like roommates who just happen to share a bed. When a guy pulls away sexually and either doesn't explain why or just gives you vague excuses, that shift is often a sign that something much deeper is going on.
Here’s what this actually looks like. Maybe your boyfriend used to initiate sex a couple of times a week, but now he hasn't touched you in three months. When you try to connect, he says he's tired, has to be up early for work, or his back hurts. There's this rotating list of reasons why tonight isn't a good night, but there's never a conversation about when might be a good time or what's actually wrong.
The difference between someone who is genuinely tired and someone who is actively avoiding you is how they handle it. A partner who really wants to connect with you will find ways to make it happen. They might say, "I'm really wiped out tonight, but I’ll plan something nice for us on the weekend," or, "I've had such a stressful week, but I miss being close to you." Someone who is just going through a rough patch will still acknowledge that it's been a while and show that they want to get that connection back.
On the other hand, someone who is avoiding you sexually because they are getting intimacy somewhere else will just keep putting up walls, with no real effort to fix the distance between you. They won't start conversations about when things might get better or what's causing the problem. They'll just keep brushing you off, hoping you'll eventually stop asking.
Women often need to feel calm, safe, and emotionally connected to enjoy sex, while men often use sex as a way to handle stress. So, if he’s telling you he's stressed but he isn’t turning to you for that physical connection, it could mean he's already getting it somewhere else.
I want to read you a real story that shows you exactly how this plays out in real life. Listen to it and see how many red flags you can notice.
“I was also with an angry man who didn’t want to have sex but blamed it on me for being a ‘prude.’ He would complain that I never initiated conversations, but I explained that it was because his idea of a 'conversation' was just a one-sided lecture. He would start them, get angry, and then list all the things he thought I was doing wrong: I wasn’t neat enough, didn’t do enough housework, didn’t seduce him enough, didn’t pay bills on time, went to bed too early… the list went on.
Then, he just stopped being nice at all and would give me this look like I was disgusting.
I finally couldn’t take it anymore and asked for a separation. Two weeks later, I discovered he’d been cheating on me for at least a year. During all that time he was avoiding sex, I got every excuse: he was working late, he was depressed, he was too tired. I really thought he had a medical problem, so I was patient and tried not to pressure him.
The whole situation messed with my head so much that I ended up in therapy and was even evaluated for ADHD because I couldn’t concentrate. And in the end, he blamed me for the lack of sex. He never cared that I was working full-time, earning more than him, taking care of the kids so he could go out, planning our vacations, and buying our home. He could only focus on the little daily things that went ‘wrong’ according to him, and he never appreciated the big things I did for our family. Sometimes I think she must be made of solid gold, because I can’t imagine any other reason he would give up the wonderful life we had.