Transcript
Think about the red flags we've covered so far. For many of them, there could be a perfectly reasonable, innocent explanation, and you always need to consider that. He could be working on a stressful project at work and just not have the energy for sex. Or maybe he just started going to the gym again, and his testosterone and sex drive are simply getting back to normal levels.
This is why looking for clusters of signs is so important.
But these next red flags I'm about to talk about are different. These are the ones that are pretty much impossible to explain away. It's basically him waving a giant flag that says, "I'm cheating."
Let's start with what happens in the bedroom. One of the biggest signs is when your husband suddenly tries something completely new during sex. You've been with this person for years, you know their moves. Then, out of nowhere, he gets you into some new position, and he's weirdly good at it. He moves you around like he's done it a million times, and you're left wondering, "Where on earth did that come from?" Watching porn doesn't give you that kind of confident technique.
When guys cheat, they learn new things from their affair partner and then come home and try them out on you. He can’t tell you where he learned it, because he can't exactly say, "Becky from work taught me."
Another huge red flag is when he suddenly starts asking for things in bed he's never wanted before. For example, maybe he never cared about oral sex, and now he's obsessed with it. Or he's never said a word about how you groom yourself down there, and suddenly he's asking you to shave everything. One woman's husband randomly asked her to get a Brazilian wax after years of not caring. When she asked him why, he couldn't give her a straight answer. It was only after she found out he was cheating that she realized the other woman probably looked that way, and he wanted her to match.
Finding Viagra is another one that's almost impossible to explain away, especially if he's never had trouble in that department or you two aren't having much sex anyway. One woman told a story about finding a brand-new pack of Viagra in her husband's work bag before a business trip. She counted the pills. When he came back, some were missing, but they hadn't slept together. She even found half a pill in his car. There's just no innocent reason for that.
But let's talk about the absolute worst red flag of all. It's when you get an STD, and you know you've been 100 percent faithful. This is more than just cheating. He didn't just betray you; he was so careless and selfish that he didn't even bother to use a condom. He just did what felt good for him in the moment and then came home, acted like nothing happened, and put your health on the line without a second thought.
Think about what that really means. He knew you could get herpes, or chlamydia, or something much worse. He knew it could affect your health for the rest of your life, maybe even your ability to have kids one day. And he decided his five minutes of pleasure was worth more than all of that.
Women who've been through this say they feel disgusting. Violated. Unsafe in their own bodies. One woman said, "I felt so dirty and gross that he had put my health at risk when I thought I was safe." Another who got herpes from her husband said, "I felt like a toxic waste dump site." One woman whose husband gave her an STD while she was pregnant said, "It's scary to think what he could have exposed his unborn children to, and me. But they just don't care."
That's what this kind of cheating is. It's not just about him sleeping with someone else. It's him deciding that his orgasm was more important than your body and your health. He treated you like you were disposable.
If he ever does this to you, he’s shown you exactly how much you mean to him, which is not much at all. Because a man who actually values you would never, ever gamble with your health. A man who respects you wouldn't risk giving you a disease that could last forever.
If you're seeing any of these signs, especially something as serious as an STD, you need to go get tested right away. Don't wait for him to come clean. Don't keep sleeping with him while you figure things out. These signs, the new moves, the Viagra, getting an STD, aren't just clues. They're the whole story. You don't need to catch him in the act; he's already brought the proof right home to you.
Read More
Transcript
Think about the red flags we've covered so far. For many of them, there could be a perfectly reasonable, innocent explanation, and you always need to consider that. He could be working on a stressful project at work and just not have the energy for sex. Or maybe he just started going to the gym again, and his testosterone and sex drive are simply getting back to normal levels.
This is why looking for clusters of signs is so important.
But these next red flags I'm about to talk about are different. These are the ones that are pretty much impossible to explain away. It's basically him waving a giant flag that says, "I'm cheating."
Let's start with what happens in the bedroom. One of the biggest signs is when your husband suddenly tries something completely new during sex. You've been with this person for years, you know their moves. Then, out of nowhere, he gets you into some new position, and he's weirdly good at it. He moves you around like he's done it a million times, and you're left wondering, "Where on earth did that come from?" Watching porn doesn't give you that kind of confident technique.
When guys cheat, they learn new things from their affair partner and then come home and try them out on you. He can’t tell you where he learned it, because he can't exactly say, "Becky from work taught me."
Another huge red flag is when he suddenly starts asking for things in bed he's never wanted before. For example, maybe he never cared about oral sex, and now he's obsessed with it. Or he's never said a word about how you groom yourself down there, and suddenly he's asking you to shave everything. One woman's husband randomly asked her to get a Brazilian wax after years of not caring. When she asked him why, he couldn't give her a straight answer. It was only after she found out he was cheating that she realized the other woman probably looked that way, and he wanted her to match.
Finding Viagra is another one that's almost impossible to explain away, especially if he's never had trouble in that department or you two aren't having much sex anyway. One woman told a story about finding a brand-new pack of Viagra in her husband's work bag before a business trip. She counted the pills. When he came back, some were missing, but they hadn't slept together. She even found half a pill in his car. There's just no innocent reason for that.
But let's talk about the absolute worst red flag of all. It's when you get an STD, and you know you've been 100 percent faithful. This is more than just cheating. He didn't just betray you; he was so careless and selfish that he didn't even bother to use a condom. He just did what felt good for him in the moment and then came home, acted like nothing happened, and put your health on the line without a second thought.
Think about what that really means. He knew you could get herpes, or chlamydia, or something much worse. He knew it could affect your health for the rest of your life, maybe even your ability to have kids one day. And he decided his five minutes of pleasure was worth more than all of that.
Women who've been through this say they feel disgusting. Violated. Unsafe in their own bodies. One woman said, "I felt so dirty and gross that he had put my health at risk when I thought I was safe." Another who got herpes from her husband said, "I felt like a toxic waste dump site." One woman whose husband gave her an STD while she was pregnant said, "It's scary to think what he could have exposed his unborn children to, and me. But they just don't care."
That's what this kind of cheating is. It's not just about him sleeping with someone else. It's him deciding that his orgasm was more important than your body and your health. He treated you like you were disposable.
If he ever does this to you, he’s shown you exactly how much you mean to him, which is not much at all. Because a man who actually values you would never, ever gamble with your health. A man who respects you wouldn't risk giving you a disease that could last forever.
If you're seeing any of these signs, especially something as serious as an STD, you need to go get tested right away. Don't wait for him to come clean. Don't keep sleeping with him while you figure things out. These signs, the new moves, the Viagra, getting an STD, aren't just clues. They're the whole story. You don't need to catch him in the act; he's already brought the proof right home to you.
Read More
Transcript
Think about the red flags we've covered so far. For many of them, there could be a perfectly reasonable, innocent explanation, and you always need to consider that. He could be working on a stressful project at work and just not have the energy for sex. Or maybe he just started going to the gym again, and his testosterone and sex drive are simply getting back to normal levels.
This is why looking for clusters of signs is so important.
But these next red flags I'm about to talk about are different. These are the ones that are pretty much impossible to explain away. It's basically him waving a giant flag that says, "I'm cheating."
Let's start with what happens in the bedroom. One of the biggest signs is when your husband suddenly tries something completely new during sex. You've been with this person for years, you know their moves. Then, out of nowhere, he gets you into some new position, and he's weirdly good at it. He moves you around like he's done it a million times, and you're left wondering, "Where on earth did that come from?" Watching porn doesn't give you that kind of confident technique.
When guys cheat, they learn new things from their affair partner and then come home and try them out on you. He can’t tell you where he learned it, because he can't exactly say, "Becky from work taught me."
Another huge red flag is when he suddenly starts asking for things in bed he's never wanted before. For example, maybe he never cared about oral sex, and now he's obsessed with it. Or he's never said a word about how you groom yourself down there, and suddenly he's asking you to shave everything. One woman's husband randomly asked her to get a Brazilian wax after years of not caring. When she asked him why, he couldn't give her a straight answer. It was only after she found out he was cheating that she realized the other woman probably looked that way, and he wanted her to match.
Finding Viagra is another one that's almost impossible to explain away, especially if he's never had trouble in that department or you two aren't having much sex anyway. One woman told a story about finding a brand-new pack of Viagra in her husband's work bag before a business trip. She counted the pills. When he came back, some were missing, but they hadn't slept together. She even found half a pill in his car. There's just no innocent reason for that.
But let's talk about the absolute worst red flag of all. It's when you get an STD, and you know you've been 100 percent faithful. This is more than just cheating. He didn't just betray you; he was so careless and selfish that he didn't even bother to use a condom. He just did what felt good for him in the moment and then came home, acted like nothing happened, and put your health on the line without a second thought.
Think about what that really means. He knew you could get herpes, or chlamydia, or something much worse. He knew it could affect your health for the rest of your life, maybe even your ability to have kids one day. And he decided his five minutes of pleasure was worth more than all of that.
Women who've been through this say they feel disgusting. Violated. Unsafe in their own bodies. One woman said, "I felt so dirty and gross that he had put my health at risk when I thought I was safe." Another who got herpes from her husband said, "I felt like a toxic waste dump site." One woman whose husband gave her an STD while she was pregnant said, "It's scary to think what he could have exposed his unborn children to, and me. But they just don't care."
That's what this kind of cheating is. It's not just about him sleeping with someone else. It's him deciding that his orgasm was more important than your body and your health. He treated you like you were disposable.
If he ever does this to you, he’s shown you exactly how much you mean to him, which is not much at all. Because a man who actually values you would never, ever gamble with your health. A man who respects you wouldn't risk giving you a disease that could last forever.
If you're seeing any of these signs, especially something as serious as an STD, you need to go get tested right away. Don't wait for him to come clean. Don't keep sleeping with him while you figure things out. These signs, the new moves, the Viagra, getting an STD, aren't just clues. They're the whole story. You don't need to catch him in the act; he's already brought the proof right home to you.