Transcript
Out of all the texts you can get in a relationship, there are only a couple that can completely destroy your world. The worst is probably when some random girl on Instagram DMs you the “hey girly…” message. But a very close second is when it comes from your friend, someone you actually trust, who sends you a text like, “Hey… I think I just saw your boyfriend on Tinder.”
If you’ve ever gotten that text, you know the feeling. Your heart drops. You feel sick. You just stare at your phone, frozen, hoping it’s some kind of sick joke. But it’s not. It feels like you’ve been punched in the stomach.
You don’t even need screenshots. The thought alone is enough to make you ill, because you know deep down that if he’s still on dating apps, something is seriously wrong.
People in happy, committed relationships don’t keep dating apps. Nobody just “forgets” to delete Tinder. Nobody “accidentally” leaves a Bumble profile active for months. Keeping those apps is a choice, and it’s a red flag you can’t ignore.
Sometimes it’s obvious, and you find the app sitting right there on his phone. Other times, it’s much sneakier. He’ll install it and delete it over and over, depending on when he thinks you might see it. He keeps his phone face down, turns off notifications, and does his swiping at night when he thinks you’re asleep.
But a dating app isn’t like Instagram or TikTok. You don’t open Tinder to look at memes. You don’t forget you have a profile with recent photos, a new bio, and your location set to your city. If his profile is still active, it’s because he wants it to be. That alone should tell you everything.
And then there’s the humiliation. Most of the time, you won’t even be the one to catch him — your friends will. They’ll be swiping on Bumble and suddenly, there he is. Smiling, maybe under a fake name, with your arm still visible in a photo he lazily cropped you out of. It’s just beyond embarrassing.
It doesn’t matter if he claims he hasn’t met up with anyone. It doesn’t matter if he says he’s just on there out of “boredom” or “curiosity.” Excuses like, “I just like scrolling, it doesn’t mean anything,” or “I forgot it was even there” are complete bullshit. The moment he chooses to look for attention from strangers on an app instead of respecting you, the relationship is already broken.
What he’s really doing is keeping his options open. He’s swiping to see who else is out there, all while you think you’re building something real.
A partner who actually values you deletes those apps without you ever having to ask. Not because you caught them. Not because you begged. But because they simply don’t need them anymore. That’s what commitment actually looks like.
So if you ever get that text from a friend, or see the app on his phone, don’t talk yourself into being the “chill girlfriend.” You don’t need to be chill about betrayal. You don’t need to lower your standards to match his lack of respect.
Because if his Tinder profile is still alive, your relationship really shouldn’t be.
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Transcript
Out of all the texts you can get in a relationship, there are only a couple that can completely destroy your world. The worst is probably when some random girl on Instagram DMs you the “hey girly…” message. But a very close second is when it comes from your friend, someone you actually trust, who sends you a text like, “Hey… I think I just saw your boyfriend on Tinder.”
If you’ve ever gotten that text, you know the feeling. Your heart drops. You feel sick. You just stare at your phone, frozen, hoping it’s some kind of sick joke. But it’s not. It feels like you’ve been punched in the stomach.
You don’t even need screenshots. The thought alone is enough to make you ill, because you know deep down that if he’s still on dating apps, something is seriously wrong.
People in happy, committed relationships don’t keep dating apps. Nobody just “forgets” to delete Tinder. Nobody “accidentally” leaves a Bumble profile active for months. Keeping those apps is a choice, and it’s a red flag you can’t ignore.
Sometimes it’s obvious, and you find the app sitting right there on his phone. Other times, it’s much sneakier. He’ll install it and delete it over and over, depending on when he thinks you might see it. He keeps his phone face down, turns off notifications, and does his swiping at night when he thinks you’re asleep.
But a dating app isn’t like Instagram or TikTok. You don’t open Tinder to look at memes. You don’t forget you have a profile with recent photos, a new bio, and your location set to your city. If his profile is still active, it’s because he wants it to be. That alone should tell you everything.
And then there’s the humiliation. Most of the time, you won’t even be the one to catch him — your friends will. They’ll be swiping on Bumble and suddenly, there he is. Smiling, maybe under a fake name, with your arm still visible in a photo he lazily cropped you out of. It’s just beyond embarrassing.
It doesn’t matter if he claims he hasn’t met up with anyone. It doesn’t matter if he says he’s just on there out of “boredom” or “curiosity.” Excuses like, “I just like scrolling, it doesn’t mean anything,” or “I forgot it was even there” are complete bullshit. The moment he chooses to look for attention from strangers on an app instead of respecting you, the relationship is already broken.
What he’s really doing is keeping his options open. He’s swiping to see who else is out there, all while you think you’re building something real.
A partner who actually values you deletes those apps without you ever having to ask. Not because you caught them. Not because you begged. But because they simply don’t need them anymore. That’s what commitment actually looks like.
So if you ever get that text from a friend, or see the app on his phone, don’t talk yourself into being the “chill girlfriend.” You don’t need to be chill about betrayal. You don’t need to lower your standards to match his lack of respect.
Because if his Tinder profile is still alive, your relationship really shouldn’t be.
Read More
Transcript
Out of all the texts you can get in a relationship, there are only a couple that can completely destroy your world. The worst is probably when some random girl on Instagram DMs you the “hey girly…” message. But a very close second is when it comes from your friend, someone you actually trust, who sends you a text like, “Hey… I think I just saw your boyfriend on Tinder.”
If you’ve ever gotten that text, you know the feeling. Your heart drops. You feel sick. You just stare at your phone, frozen, hoping it’s some kind of sick joke. But it’s not. It feels like you’ve been punched in the stomach.
You don’t even need screenshots. The thought alone is enough to make you ill, because you know deep down that if he’s still on dating apps, something is seriously wrong.
People in happy, committed relationships don’t keep dating apps. Nobody just “forgets” to delete Tinder. Nobody “accidentally” leaves a Bumble profile active for months. Keeping those apps is a choice, and it’s a red flag you can’t ignore.
Sometimes it’s obvious, and you find the app sitting right there on his phone. Other times, it’s much sneakier. He’ll install it and delete it over and over, depending on when he thinks you might see it. He keeps his phone face down, turns off notifications, and does his swiping at night when he thinks you’re asleep.
But a dating app isn’t like Instagram or TikTok. You don’t open Tinder to look at memes. You don’t forget you have a profile with recent photos, a new bio, and your location set to your city. If his profile is still active, it’s because he wants it to be. That alone should tell you everything.
And then there’s the humiliation. Most of the time, you won’t even be the one to catch him — your friends will. They’ll be swiping on Bumble and suddenly, there he is. Smiling, maybe under a fake name, with your arm still visible in a photo he lazily cropped you out of. It’s just beyond embarrassing.
It doesn’t matter if he claims he hasn’t met up with anyone. It doesn’t matter if he says he’s just on there out of “boredom” or “curiosity.” Excuses like, “I just like scrolling, it doesn’t mean anything,” or “I forgot it was even there” are complete bullshit. The moment he chooses to look for attention from strangers on an app instead of respecting you, the relationship is already broken.
What he’s really doing is keeping his options open. He’s swiping to see who else is out there, all while you think you’re building something real.
A partner who actually values you deletes those apps without you ever having to ask. Not because you caught them. Not because you begged. But because they simply don’t need them anymore. That’s what commitment actually looks like.
So if you ever get that text from a friend, or see the app on his phone, don’t talk yourself into being the “chill girlfriend.” You don’t need to be chill about betrayal. You don’t need to lower your standards to match his lack of respect.
Because if his Tinder profile is still alive, your relationship really shouldn’t be.