Transcript
Okay, first of all, congratulations. Seriously. You’ve made it to the last few topics of this program, and that is no small thing. You’ve already put in so much time to learn, reflect, and protect yourself, and that’s something most people never do.
So far, we’ve focused a lot on what cheaters do, the actions and the patterns. But now, we need to shift our focus to who they are. What kind of person actually does this? What’s going on in their head? We’re about to dig into the psychology behind it all, the personality traits, the attachment styles, and the darker patterns hiding just beneath the surface.
But before we dive into all of that, I need you to pause and ask yourself a really fundamental question about your partner, your ex, or even someone you’re just starting to see: Can you actually trust them?
I’m not just talking about cheating. Forget that for a second. I mean the small, everyday moments of life. Can you trust what they say?
Because here’s what a lot of us do. We compartmentalize. We notice they lie about little things, dodge questions, or say one thing and do another, but we draw a line in our minds. We tell ourselves, “That’s different. It’s not that serious. They wouldn’t lie about something big. They’d never cheat.”
But that’s not how honesty works. It isn’t a switch someone can just flip on and off depending on the situation. A person’s character is consistent. If they’re comfortable being dishonest in small ways, hiding things, bending the truth, avoiding accountability, that doesn’t magically disappear when the stakes get higher. In fact, it usually gets worse.
So I want you to really think about your partner’s relationship with the truth. Have you ever caught them in lies that seem completely pointless? You know, the small, almost silly details. They say they left work at five when it was really five thirty. They tell you they spent fifty dollars on something when the receipt clearly says eighty. Or maybe they claim they barely know someone, only for you to find out later they used to hook up.
Do they lie even when the truth would’ve been completely fine? When you see that, you’re seeing a core part of their character. It shows you that their first instinct, the moment they feel the slightest bit of pressure, is to just make something up. And if that’s their go-to for the small stuff, what do you really think they’ll do when something serious is on the line?
This goes even deeper, because not every lie is a direct statement. In fact, some of the most destructive lies are built on silence.
Imagine you ask your boyfriend what he did last night. He shrugs and says, “Oh, not much. Just stayed home and watched TV.” And maybe that’s technically true. But what he conveniently leaves out is that his ex was also there, and they slept together. So yes, he told you a truth, but he hid the one piece of information that changes everything.
This is exactly what relationship expert Natasha Adamo calls getting “doses of the truth.” They feed you just enough information to seem honest, but they deliberately hold back the parts that would expose them. You’re left in this exhausting loop, constantly trying to fill in the blanks and connect the dots, never quite sure you have the full picture. And it’s completely intentional.
They’re counting on your trust. They’re counting on you not to dig too deep or ask too many follow-up questions. That way, when the full truth eventually comes out, they can turn it around on you and say, “I didn’t lie, you just didn’t ask,” as if it’s your fault for not being a mind reader.
But let’s be clear. Leaving out crucial information is lying. It’s a lie of omission. If you constantly feel like you’re playing detective in your own relationship, like you have to ask a dozen hyper-specific questions just to get a straight answer, that is a massive red flag. Trustworthy people don’t make you work that hard for the truth.
Read More
Transcript
Okay, first of all, congratulations. Seriously. You’ve made it to the last few topics of this program, and that is no small thing. You’ve already put in so much time to learn, reflect, and protect yourself, and that’s something most people never do.
So far, we’ve focused a lot on what cheaters do, the actions and the patterns. But now, we need to shift our focus to who they are. What kind of person actually does this? What’s going on in their head? We’re about to dig into the psychology behind it all, the personality traits, the attachment styles, and the darker patterns hiding just beneath the surface.
But before we dive into all of that, I need you to pause and ask yourself a really fundamental question about your partner, your ex, or even someone you’re just starting to see: Can you actually trust them?
I’m not just talking about cheating. Forget that for a second. I mean the small, everyday moments of life. Can you trust what they say?
Because here’s what a lot of us do. We compartmentalize. We notice they lie about little things, dodge questions, or say one thing and do another, but we draw a line in our minds. We tell ourselves, “That’s different. It’s not that serious. They wouldn’t lie about something big. They’d never cheat.”
But that’s not how honesty works. It isn’t a switch someone can just flip on and off depending on the situation. A person’s character is consistent. If they’re comfortable being dishonest in small ways, hiding things, bending the truth, avoiding accountability, that doesn’t magically disappear when the stakes get higher. In fact, it usually gets worse.
So I want you to really think about your partner’s relationship with the truth. Have you ever caught them in lies that seem completely pointless? You know, the small, almost silly details. They say they left work at five when it was really five thirty. They tell you they spent fifty dollars on something when the receipt clearly says eighty. Or maybe they claim they barely know someone, only for you to find out later they used to hook up.
Do they lie even when the truth would’ve been completely fine? When you see that, you’re seeing a core part of their character. It shows you that their first instinct, the moment they feel the slightest bit of pressure, is to just make something up. And if that’s their go-to for the small stuff, what do you really think they’ll do when something serious is on the line?
This goes even deeper, because not every lie is a direct statement. In fact, some of the most destructive lies are built on silence.
Imagine you ask your boyfriend what he did last night. He shrugs and says, “Oh, not much. Just stayed home and watched TV.” And maybe that’s technically true. But what he conveniently leaves out is that his ex was also there, and they slept together. So yes, he told you a truth, but he hid the one piece of information that changes everything.
This is exactly what relationship expert Natasha Adamo calls getting “doses of the truth.” They feed you just enough information to seem honest, but they deliberately hold back the parts that would expose them. You’re left in this exhausting loop, constantly trying to fill in the blanks and connect the dots, never quite sure you have the full picture. And it’s completely intentional.
They’re counting on your trust. They’re counting on you not to dig too deep or ask too many follow-up questions. That way, when the full truth eventually comes out, they can turn it around on you and say, “I didn’t lie, you just didn’t ask,” as if it’s your fault for not being a mind reader.
But let’s be clear. Leaving out crucial information is lying. It’s a lie of omission. If you constantly feel like you’re playing detective in your own relationship, like you have to ask a dozen hyper-specific questions just to get a straight answer, that is a massive red flag. Trustworthy people don’t make you work that hard for the truth.
Read More
Transcript
Okay, first of all, congratulations. Seriously. You’ve made it to the last few topics of this program, and that is no small thing. You’ve already put in so much time to learn, reflect, and protect yourself, and that’s something most people never do.
So far, we’ve focused a lot on what cheaters do, the actions and the patterns. But now, we need to shift our focus to who they are. What kind of person actually does this? What’s going on in their head? We’re about to dig into the psychology behind it all, the personality traits, the attachment styles, and the darker patterns hiding just beneath the surface.
But before we dive into all of that, I need you to pause and ask yourself a really fundamental question about your partner, your ex, or even someone you’re just starting to see: Can you actually trust them?
I’m not just talking about cheating. Forget that for a second. I mean the small, everyday moments of life. Can you trust what they say?
Because here’s what a lot of us do. We compartmentalize. We notice they lie about little things, dodge questions, or say one thing and do another, but we draw a line in our minds. We tell ourselves, “That’s different. It’s not that serious. They wouldn’t lie about something big. They’d never cheat.”
But that’s not how honesty works. It isn’t a switch someone can just flip on and off depending on the situation. A person’s character is consistent. If they’re comfortable being dishonest in small ways, hiding things, bending the truth, avoiding accountability, that doesn’t magically disappear when the stakes get higher. In fact, it usually gets worse.
So I want you to really think about your partner’s relationship with the truth. Have you ever caught them in lies that seem completely pointless? You know, the small, almost silly details. They say they left work at five when it was really five thirty. They tell you they spent fifty dollars on something when the receipt clearly says eighty. Or maybe they claim they barely know someone, only for you to find out later they used to hook up.
Do they lie even when the truth would’ve been completely fine? When you see that, you’re seeing a core part of their character. It shows you that their first instinct, the moment they feel the slightest bit of pressure, is to just make something up. And if that’s their go-to for the small stuff, what do you really think they’ll do when something serious is on the line?
This goes even deeper, because not every lie is a direct statement. In fact, some of the most destructive lies are built on silence.
Imagine you ask your boyfriend what he did last night. He shrugs and says, “Oh, not much. Just stayed home and watched TV.” And maybe that’s technically true. But what he conveniently leaves out is that his ex was also there, and they slept together. So yes, he told you a truth, but he hid the one piece of information that changes everything.
This is exactly what relationship expert Natasha Adamo calls getting “doses of the truth.” They feed you just enough information to seem honest, but they deliberately hold back the parts that would expose them. You’re left in this exhausting loop, constantly trying to fill in the blanks and connect the dots, never quite sure you have the full picture. And it’s completely intentional.
They’re counting on your trust. They’re counting on you not to dig too deep or ask too many follow-up questions. That way, when the full truth eventually comes out, they can turn it around on you and say, “I didn’t lie, you just didn’t ask,” as if it’s your fault for not being a mind reader.
But let’s be clear. Leaving out crucial information is lying. It’s a lie of omission. If you constantly feel like you’re playing detective in your own relationship, like you have to ask a dozen hyper-specific questions just to get a straight answer, that is a massive red flag. Trustworthy people don’t make you work that hard for the truth.