Transcript
So, let's talk about the first Dark Triad trait: narcissism. It's a word that gets thrown around a lot, but most people don't quite grasp what it really means. You've probably heard someone say, "Ugh, he's such a narcissist," just because a guy posts a lot of gym pictures or talks about how great he is. But real narcissism goes much deeper than that.
It's helpful to think of it as a spectrum. On the lighter end, you've got people who just love being the center of attention and love a lot of compliments. But on the extreme end, you get true narcissists, people who have a bottomless need for praise and use control to feel powerful. When that shows up in a relationship, it's a massive red flag for cheating.
Narcissists feed on validation. They need it like oxygen. The trouble is, one person is never enough. While you're pouring your heart and soul into the relationship, thinking you're building something real, they're already looking for their next hit of attention. They're not looking for love; they're after the emotional drug they're addicted to, what psychologists call "Narcissistic Supply". They use people to feel in control and like they're special, but that high never lasts, so they always need more.
Let me give you an example. There was a successful lawyer named James. His wife was going through cancer treatment, and while she was literally fighting for her life, he was cheating on her with multiple women. When he finally got caught, his excuse was, "Well, what was I supposed to do? You were always tired. I've got needs."
That right there is classic narcissist thinking. They always have an excuse, and it's never their fault. They'll blame the situation, they'll blame you, they'll blame anything they can think of except themselves. In their story, they're always the victim.
To a narcissist, a relationship isn't about being a team. It's about what they can get out of it. Their mind is always running the same questions: "What am I getting? What do I deserve? How does this benefit me?" The second the relationship asks for any real sacrifice or compromise, they feel like they're being ripped off. After all, they're special, and they believe they always deserve more. They honestly think other people are just here to serve them, and the rules don't apply to them. If they want something, they'll take it. If someone gets hurt in the process, they simply don't care.
That's exactly what makes them so dangerous in a relationship. There's no line they won't cross to stay in control and get what they want. They don't care if you're upset or falling apart. Some of them actually enjoy the drama. Your pain makes them feel powerful, and it makes their life feel more exciting. The truth is, they get bored when things are calm and stable. They crave attention, even if it means creating chaos just to get it. If you suffer in the process, they won't feel bad about it. They'll feel like they won.
Read More
Transcript
So, let's talk about the first Dark Triad trait: narcissism. It's a word that gets thrown around a lot, but most people don't quite grasp what it really means. You've probably heard someone say, "Ugh, he's such a narcissist," just because a guy posts a lot of gym pictures or talks about how great he is. But real narcissism goes much deeper than that.
It's helpful to think of it as a spectrum. On the lighter end, you've got people who just love being the center of attention and love a lot of compliments. But on the extreme end, you get true narcissists, people who have a bottomless need for praise and use control to feel powerful. When that shows up in a relationship, it's a massive red flag for cheating.
Narcissists feed on validation. They need it like oxygen. The trouble is, one person is never enough. While you're pouring your heart and soul into the relationship, thinking you're building something real, they're already looking for their next hit of attention. They're not looking for love; they're after the emotional drug they're addicted to, what psychologists call "Narcissistic Supply". They use people to feel in control and like they're special, but that high never lasts, so they always need more.
Let me give you an example. There was a successful lawyer named James. His wife was going through cancer treatment, and while she was literally fighting for her life, he was cheating on her with multiple women. When he finally got caught, his excuse was, "Well, what was I supposed to do? You were always tired. I've got needs."
That right there is classic narcissist thinking. They always have an excuse, and it's never their fault. They'll blame the situation, they'll blame you, they'll blame anything they can think of except themselves. In their story, they're always the victim.
To a narcissist, a relationship isn't about being a team. It's about what they can get out of it. Their mind is always running the same questions: "What am I getting? What do I deserve? How does this benefit me?" The second the relationship asks for any real sacrifice or compromise, they feel like they're being ripped off. After all, they're special, and they believe they always deserve more. They honestly think other people are just here to serve them, and the rules don't apply to them. If they want something, they'll take it. If someone gets hurt in the process, they simply don't care.
That's exactly what makes them so dangerous in a relationship. There's no line they won't cross to stay in control and get what they want. They don't care if you're upset or falling apart. Some of them actually enjoy the drama. Your pain makes them feel powerful, and it makes their life feel more exciting. The truth is, they get bored when things are calm and stable. They crave attention, even if it means creating chaos just to get it. If you suffer in the process, they won't feel bad about it. They'll feel like they won.
Read More
Transcript
So, let's talk about the first Dark Triad trait: narcissism. It's a word that gets thrown around a lot, but most people don't quite grasp what it really means. You've probably heard someone say, "Ugh, he's such a narcissist," just because a guy posts a lot of gym pictures or talks about how great he is. But real narcissism goes much deeper than that.
It's helpful to think of it as a spectrum. On the lighter end, you've got people who just love being the center of attention and love a lot of compliments. But on the extreme end, you get true narcissists, people who have a bottomless need for praise and use control to feel powerful. When that shows up in a relationship, it's a massive red flag for cheating.
Narcissists feed on validation. They need it like oxygen. The trouble is, one person is never enough. While you're pouring your heart and soul into the relationship, thinking you're building something real, they're already looking for their next hit of attention. They're not looking for love; they're after the emotional drug they're addicted to, what psychologists call "Narcissistic Supply". They use people to feel in control and like they're special, but that high never lasts, so they always need more.
Let me give you an example. There was a successful lawyer named James. His wife was going through cancer treatment, and while she was literally fighting for her life, he was cheating on her with multiple women. When he finally got caught, his excuse was, "Well, what was I supposed to do? You were always tired. I've got needs."
That right there is classic narcissist thinking. They always have an excuse, and it's never their fault. They'll blame the situation, they'll blame you, they'll blame anything they can think of except themselves. In their story, they're always the victim.
To a narcissist, a relationship isn't about being a team. It's about what they can get out of it. Their mind is always running the same questions: "What am I getting? What do I deserve? How does this benefit me?" The second the relationship asks for any real sacrifice or compromise, they feel like they're being ripped off. After all, they're special, and they believe they always deserve more. They honestly think other people are just here to serve them, and the rules don't apply to them. If they want something, they'll take it. If someone gets hurt in the process, they simply don't care.
That's exactly what makes them so dangerous in a relationship. There's no line they won't cross to stay in control and get what they want. They don't care if you're upset or falling apart. Some of them actually enjoy the drama. Your pain makes them feel powerful, and it makes their life feel more exciting. The truth is, they get bored when things are calm and stable. They crave attention, even if it means creating chaos just to get it. If you suffer in the process, they won't feel bad about it. They'll feel like they won.