Transcript
Hi, and welcome back. Over the next few sections, we’re going to talk about the physical changes you often see in cheaters. But before we get to them, we need to start with the first, and honestly the most important, physical warning sign. And it has nothing to do with him.
It starts with you. Your body. Your gut. Your nervous system.
It’s your intuition.
Before you ever find a message, before his behavior even really changes, your body often already knows. You can feel it. That quiet, uncomfortable knot in your stomach. The tension in your chest. That little voice whispering, “Something’s not right.”
That’s not you overthinking. It’s your body doing exactly what it’s designed to do. Picking up on tiny shifts in their behavior, their energy, their words, long before your brain catches up.
Researchers call it your “cheater detection mechanism.” Psychologists like Dr. Leda Cosmides have shown that people seem to have a built-in radar for spotting betrayal. And when you think about it, it makes perfect sense. For generations, women have had to learn how to pick up on danger, whether it was out in the world or in their own relationships.
The women who could sense the warning signs early, who noticed the little shifts in behavior or energy, were the ones who protected themselves, their children, and their future.
The wisdom of all those women before you still lives in you. Your body and your mind know how to pick up on little signs that something isn’t right, even if you don’t realize it straight away. Your brain is always working in the background, watching for changes, a different tone in their voice, the way they stop touching you as much, their story not adding up, that weird tension in the air.
That feeling is your body telling you to trust your gut. No one else knows them as well as you do.
The problem? Most of us are trained to ignore that feeling. We explain it away. We tell ourselves, “He’d never do that.” We let him tell us we’re paranoid, insecure, jealous. We push that alarm bell so far down, we start believing we’re the problem, not him.
But when something feels off? Your body knows it before your mind can even process it. Maybe you get a knot in your stomach every time they mention a certain name. Or you start having trouble sleeping, sometimes even dreaming about them cheating. Your anxiety might spike the second they check their phone. You might feel distant or disconnected, like there’s suddenly a wall between you two. Or it hits you physically, you start getting headaches, nausea, tension, all triggered by the way he’s acting.
And the thing is, your intuition is so often right.
Relationship researcher Dr. Shirley Glass found that the instincts of betrayed partners are surprisingly accurate. Many people report having gut feelings long before they ever found real evidence.
One women told her "I thought I was going crazy. He kept telling me I was overreacting, so I started to believe him."
But even with this cheater detection system, people still dismiss the signs. Why is this? Well, there are a few reasons:
First: Gaslighting. When your partner constantly shuts you down or calls you “crazy” or “paranoid,” it messes with your head. After a while, you start to question yourself instead of them.
Second: Fear of confirmation. Sometimes we ignore the signs because deep down, we don’t want to know the truth. It feels safer to stay in the dark than to face what’s really going on.
Third: Cognitive dissonance. This is just fancy of saying that, it’s hard to believe that someone you love could do something like this. So your brain looks for ways to explain it away, just so it makes sense.
Fourth: Social conditioning. So many women have been taught to doubt themselves, to keep the peace, to not be “crazy” or “needy”. That pressure makes it easy to ignore your gut.
Dr. Harriet Lerner, author of "The Dance of Connection," explains it like this "Many women have been taught to override their gut feelings in the service of keeping a relationship intact. They become experts at explaining away their discomfort rather than addressing its source."
But, and this is important, there’s a massive difference between healthy intuition and what’s called hypervigilance. When you've been cheated on, lied to or just suspect something, your internal alarm system can go into overdrive. Suddenly, every late reply, every new girl at work, every moment of silence feels like proof he’s doing it.
This isn't intuition anymore, it's your fear taking control. As one betrayed woman described it: "I changed from a relaxed, trusting person into a paranoid maniac. I was nagging him all the time, badgering him with questions, and double-checking his answers."
And living like that? Constantly checking his phone, interrogating him with questions, doubting his every move, it’s exhausting. It doesn’t protect you. It just wears you down and, in some cases, it can even push a faithful partner away.
That’s not the point of this program.
The goal here is not to turn you into some paranoid version of yourself. It’s to help you trust yourself properly. To know the difference between a gut feeling… and trauma from your past.
Because if you don’t trust yourself, you’ll never be able to trust your partner, no matter what they do.
So here’s what I want you to remember:
• First. That nagging feeling? Listen to it.
• Second. You don’t need evidence to listen, but you do need evidence to confront.
• Right now, observing? Noticing? Watching? That’s what starts.
Your intuition won’t give you the whole story, but it will tell you where to look.
And that’s what we’re doing in this program. We’ll show you how to take that gut feeling, that quiet warning, and back it up with real evidence.
And importantly, even if it turns out they aren’t cheating, your feelings still matter. That discomfort? That anxiety? That’s your body telling you something isn’t right, whether it’s them… or whether the relationship simply isn’t making you feel safe or secure.
Read More
Transcript
Hi, and welcome back. Over the next few sections, we’re going to talk about the physical changes you often see in cheaters. But before we get to them, we need to start with the first, and honestly the most important, physical warning sign. And it has nothing to do with him.
It starts with you. Your body. Your gut. Your nervous system.
It’s your intuition.
Before you ever find a message, before his behavior even really changes, your body often already knows. You can feel it. That quiet, uncomfortable knot in your stomach. The tension in your chest. That little voice whispering, “Something’s not right.”
That’s not you overthinking. It’s your body doing exactly what it’s designed to do. Picking up on tiny shifts in their behavior, their energy, their words, long before your brain catches up.
Researchers call it your “cheater detection mechanism.” Psychologists like Dr. Leda Cosmides have shown that people seem to have a built-in radar for spotting betrayal. And when you think about it, it makes perfect sense. For generations, women have had to learn how to pick up on danger, whether it was out in the world or in their own relationships.
The women who could sense the warning signs early, who noticed the little shifts in behavior or energy, were the ones who protected themselves, their children, and their future.
The wisdom of all those women before you still lives in you. Your body and your mind know how to pick up on little signs that something isn’t right, even if you don’t realize it straight away. Your brain is always working in the background, watching for changes, a different tone in their voice, the way they stop touching you as much, their story not adding up, that weird tension in the air.
That feeling is your body telling you to trust your gut. No one else knows them as well as you do.
The problem? Most of us are trained to ignore that feeling. We explain it away. We tell ourselves, “He’d never do that.” We let him tell us we’re paranoid, insecure, jealous. We push that alarm bell so far down, we start believing we’re the problem, not him.
But when something feels off? Your body knows it before your mind can even process it. Maybe you get a knot in your stomach every time they mention a certain name. Or you start having trouble sleeping, sometimes even dreaming about them cheating. Your anxiety might spike the second they check their phone. You might feel distant or disconnected, like there’s suddenly a wall between you two. Or it hits you physically, you start getting headaches, nausea, tension, all triggered by the way he’s acting.
And the thing is, your intuition is so often right.
Relationship researcher Dr. Shirley Glass found that the instincts of betrayed partners are surprisingly accurate. Many people report having gut feelings long before they ever found real evidence.
One women told her "I thought I was going crazy. He kept telling me I was overreacting, so I started to believe him."
But even with this cheater detection system, people still dismiss the signs. Why is this? Well, there are a few reasons:
First: Gaslighting. When your partner constantly shuts you down or calls you “crazy” or “paranoid,” it messes with your head. After a while, you start to question yourself instead of them.
Second: Fear of confirmation. Sometimes we ignore the signs because deep down, we don’t want to know the truth. It feels safer to stay in the dark than to face what’s really going on.
Third: Cognitive dissonance. This is just fancy of saying that, it’s hard to believe that someone you love could do something like this. So your brain looks for ways to explain it away, just so it makes sense.
Fourth: Social conditioning. So many women have been taught to doubt themselves, to keep the peace, to not be “crazy” or “needy”. That pressure makes it easy to ignore your gut.
Dr. Harriet Lerner, author of "The Dance of Connection," explains it like this "Many women have been taught to override their gut feelings in the service of keeping a relationship intact. They become experts at explaining away their discomfort rather than addressing its source."
But, and this is important, there’s a massive difference between healthy intuition and what’s called hypervigilance. When you've been cheated on, lied to or just suspect something, your internal alarm system can go into overdrive. Suddenly, every late reply, every new girl at work, every moment of silence feels like proof he’s doing it.
This isn't intuition anymore, it's your fear taking control. As one betrayed woman described it: "I changed from a relaxed, trusting person into a paranoid maniac. I was nagging him all the time, badgering him with questions, and double-checking his answers."
And living like that? Constantly checking his phone, interrogating him with questions, doubting his every move, it’s exhausting. It doesn’t protect you. It just wears you down and, in some cases, it can even push a faithful partner away.
That’s not the point of this program.
The goal here is not to turn you into some paranoid version of yourself. It’s to help you trust yourself properly. To know the difference between a gut feeling… and trauma from your past.
Because if you don’t trust yourself, you’ll never be able to trust your partner, no matter what they do.
So here’s what I want you to remember:
• First. That nagging feeling? Listen to it.
• Second. You don’t need evidence to listen, but you do need evidence to confront.
• Right now, observing? Noticing? Watching? That’s what starts.
Your intuition won’t give you the whole story, but it will tell you where to look.
And that’s what we’re doing in this program. We’ll show you how to take that gut feeling, that quiet warning, and back it up with real evidence.
And importantly, even if it turns out they aren’t cheating, your feelings still matter. That discomfort? That anxiety? That’s your body telling you something isn’t right, whether it’s them… or whether the relationship simply isn’t making you feel safe or secure.
Read More
Transcript
Hi, and welcome back. Over the next few sections, we’re going to talk about the physical changes you often see in cheaters. But before we get to them, we need to start with the first, and honestly the most important, physical warning sign. And it has nothing to do with him.
It starts with you. Your body. Your gut. Your nervous system.
It’s your intuition.
Before you ever find a message, before his behavior even really changes, your body often already knows. You can feel it. That quiet, uncomfortable knot in your stomach. The tension in your chest. That little voice whispering, “Something’s not right.”
That’s not you overthinking. It’s your body doing exactly what it’s designed to do. Picking up on tiny shifts in their behavior, their energy, their words, long before your brain catches up.
Researchers call it your “cheater detection mechanism.” Psychologists like Dr. Leda Cosmides have shown that people seem to have a built-in radar for spotting betrayal. And when you think about it, it makes perfect sense. For generations, women have had to learn how to pick up on danger, whether it was out in the world or in their own relationships.
The women who could sense the warning signs early, who noticed the little shifts in behavior or energy, were the ones who protected themselves, their children, and their future.
The wisdom of all those women before you still lives in you. Your body and your mind know how to pick up on little signs that something isn’t right, even if you don’t realize it straight away. Your brain is always working in the background, watching for changes, a different tone in their voice, the way they stop touching you as much, their story not adding up, that weird tension in the air.
That feeling is your body telling you to trust your gut. No one else knows them as well as you do.
The problem? Most of us are trained to ignore that feeling. We explain it away. We tell ourselves, “He’d never do that.” We let him tell us we’re paranoid, insecure, jealous. We push that alarm bell so far down, we start believing we’re the problem, not him.
But when something feels off? Your body knows it before your mind can even process it. Maybe you get a knot in your stomach every time they mention a certain name. Or you start having trouble sleeping, sometimes even dreaming about them cheating. Your anxiety might spike the second they check their phone. You might feel distant or disconnected, like there’s suddenly a wall between you two. Or it hits you physically, you start getting headaches, nausea, tension, all triggered by the way he’s acting.
And the thing is, your intuition is so often right.
Relationship researcher Dr. Shirley Glass found that the instincts of betrayed partners are surprisingly accurate. Many people report having gut feelings long before they ever found real evidence.
One women told her "I thought I was going crazy. He kept telling me I was overreacting, so I started to believe him."
But even with this cheater detection system, people still dismiss the signs. Why is this? Well, there are a few reasons:
First: Gaslighting. When your partner constantly shuts you down or calls you “crazy” or “paranoid,” it messes with your head. After a while, you start to question yourself instead of them.
Second: Fear of confirmation. Sometimes we ignore the signs because deep down, we don’t want to know the truth. It feels safer to stay in the dark than to face what’s really going on.
Third: Cognitive dissonance. This is just fancy of saying that, it’s hard to believe that someone you love could do something like this. So your brain looks for ways to explain it away, just so it makes sense.
Fourth: Social conditioning. So many women have been taught to doubt themselves, to keep the peace, to not be “crazy” or “needy”. That pressure makes it easy to ignore your gut.
Dr. Harriet Lerner, author of "The Dance of Connection," explains it like this "Many women have been taught to override their gut feelings in the service of keeping a relationship intact. They become experts at explaining away their discomfort rather than addressing its source."
But, and this is important, there’s a massive difference between healthy intuition and what’s called hypervigilance. When you've been cheated on, lied to or just suspect something, your internal alarm system can go into overdrive. Suddenly, every late reply, every new girl at work, every moment of silence feels like proof he’s doing it.
This isn't intuition anymore, it's your fear taking control. As one betrayed woman described it: "I changed from a relaxed, trusting person into a paranoid maniac. I was nagging him all the time, badgering him with questions, and double-checking his answers."
And living like that? Constantly checking his phone, interrogating him with questions, doubting his every move, it’s exhausting. It doesn’t protect you. It just wears you down and, in some cases, it can even push a faithful partner away.
That’s not the point of this program.
The goal here is not to turn you into some paranoid version of yourself. It’s to help you trust yourself properly. To know the difference between a gut feeling… and trauma from your past.
Because if you don’t trust yourself, you’ll never be able to trust your partner, no matter what they do.
So here’s what I want you to remember:
• First. That nagging feeling? Listen to it.
• Second. You don’t need evidence to listen, but you do need evidence to confront.
• Right now, observing? Noticing? Watching? That’s what starts.
Your intuition won’t give you the whole story, but it will tell you where to look.
And that’s what we’re doing in this program. We’ll show you how to take that gut feeling, that quiet warning, and back it up with real evidence.
And importantly, even if it turns out they aren’t cheating, your feelings still matter. That discomfort? That anxiety? That’s your body telling you something isn’t right, whether it’s them… or whether the relationship simply isn’t making you feel safe or secure.