Pink Flag Audio
Module: 04
What actually counts as cheating?
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Transcript
Before we even get into the first red flag, let’s pause for a second and ask something most people skip over.
What even is cheating these days?
Like, sure, having sex with someone else? Obviously cheating. But what about texting an ex? What about porn? Or going out for lunch with a coworker? It’s not always obvious where the line is.
Most couples don’t sit down and define their boundaries. We just assume we’re on the same page… until one of us finds out we’re very much not.
One person thinks following their ex on Instagram is no big deal. The other sees it as a massive red flag. And that mismatch? That’s where so many heartbreaks begin.
“You never told me you still talk to that girl from college.”
“I get that he’s your best friend, but do you really need to tell him everything about us?”
“We’ve slept together ten times and you still have Tinder?”
Cheating isn’t just about sex anymore. It’s about trust. It’s about attention, secrecy, and where your energy goes when it’s not going to your partner. Sometimes that’s physical. Sometimes it’s emotional. Sometimes it’s through a screen.
There are really three main types of cheating today:
The first is physical cheating. This one’s obvious: kissing, sex, anything intimate. But even here, there’s a gray area. Is hugging a woman at work too long cheating? Is getting a massage from a woman cheating? The point isn’t the act, it’s the secrecy, the hiding, the “you weren’t supposed to know.”
Next is emotional cheating. This one can hurt just as much, even if nothing physical has happened.
It’s when your partner starts sharing their thoughts, feelings, and emotional energy with someone else instead of you.
Think of the “work wife,” the ex they say they’re still friends with, or someone they seem to text more than they text you. Even if there’s no sex, it’s still betrayal.
Honestly, most cheating doesn’t start in the bedroom. It starts with little things, inside jokes you wouldn’t get, deep conversations that don’t include you, feelings they keep quiet about, and little secrets they don’t tell you. By the time anything physical happens, the emotional line was already crossed.
Then there’s digital cheating. This stuff is a mess. Secret social media accounts. Dating apps they “forgot to delete.” OnlyFans. Fake calculator apps. They don’t even have to leave the house to cheat anymore. They can be lying next to you and talking to ten different women.
Cheating has changed a lot, but one thing hasn’t: only you get to decide when a boundary’s been crossed.
Infidelity isn’t always about one specific act. It’s about breaking the trust that’s supposed to exist between two people. What feels like betrayal in one relationship might be totally fine in another. It depends on your boundaries, not anyone else’s.
People love to act like there’s some kind of cheating scale. Like watching porn is a 3, getting a massage with a happy ending is a 5, and sleeping with your best friend is a 10. People say things like, “At least it was just texts,” or “It’s not like they had sex.” But that’s not how pain works.
Some people stay after multiple affairs. Others walk away after one text. Hurt doesn’t follow some scale and it doesn’t have to.
No one else gets to decide what should hurt you or how much. You don’t need to justify it. If it broke your trust, it counts.
That’s what cheating really is: someone crossing a line you thought was safe.
Read More
Transcript
Before we even get into the first red flag, let’s pause for a second and ask something most people skip over.
What even is cheating these days?
Like, sure, having sex with someone else? Obviously cheating. But what about texting an ex? What about porn? Or going out for lunch with a coworker? It’s not always obvious where the line is.
Most couples don’t sit down and define their boundaries. We just assume we’re on the same page… until one of us finds out we’re very much not.
One person thinks following their ex on Instagram is no big deal. The other sees it as a massive red flag. And that mismatch? That’s where so many heartbreaks begin.
“You never told me you still talk to that girl from college.”
“I get that he’s your best friend, but do you really need to tell him everything about us?”
“We’ve slept together ten times and you still have Tinder?”
Cheating isn’t just about sex anymore. It’s about trust. It’s about attention, secrecy, and where your energy goes when it’s not going to your partner. Sometimes that’s physical. Sometimes it’s emotional. Sometimes it’s through a screen.
There are really three main types of cheating today:
The first is physical cheating. This one’s obvious: kissing, sex, anything intimate. But even here, there’s a gray area. Is hugging a woman at work too long cheating? Is getting a massage from a woman cheating? The point isn’t the act, it’s the secrecy, the hiding, the “you weren’t supposed to know.”
Next is emotional cheating. This one can hurt just as much, even if nothing physical has happened.
It’s when your partner starts sharing their thoughts, feelings, and emotional energy with someone else instead of you.
Think of the “work wife,” the ex they say they’re still friends with, or someone they seem to text more than they text you. Even if there’s no sex, it’s still betrayal.
Honestly, most cheating doesn’t start in the bedroom. It starts with little things, inside jokes you wouldn’t get, deep conversations that don’t include you, feelings they keep quiet about, and little secrets they don’t tell you. By the time anything physical happens, the emotional line was already crossed.
Then there’s digital cheating. This stuff is a mess. Secret social media accounts. Dating apps they “forgot to delete.” OnlyFans. Fake calculator apps. They don’t even have to leave the house to cheat anymore. They can be lying next to you and talking to ten different women.
Cheating has changed a lot, but one thing hasn’t: only you get to decide when a boundary’s been crossed.
Infidelity isn’t always about one specific act. It’s about breaking the trust that’s supposed to exist between two people. What feels like betrayal in one relationship might be totally fine in another. It depends on your boundaries, not anyone else’s.
People love to act like there’s some kind of cheating scale. Like watching porn is a 3, getting a massage with a happy ending is a 5, and sleeping with your best friend is a 10. People say things like, “At least it was just texts,” or “It’s not like they had sex.” But that’s not how pain works.
Some people stay after multiple affairs. Others walk away after one text. Hurt doesn’t follow some scale and it doesn’t have to.
No one else gets to decide what should hurt you or how much. You don’t need to justify it. If it broke your trust, it counts.
That’s what cheating really is: someone crossing a line you thought was safe.
Read More
Transcript
Before we even get into the first red flag, let’s pause for a second and ask something most people skip over.
What even is cheating these days?
Like, sure, having sex with someone else? Obviously cheating. But what about texting an ex? What about porn? Or going out for lunch with a coworker? It’s not always obvious where the line is.
Most couples don’t sit down and define their boundaries. We just assume we’re on the same page… until one of us finds out we’re very much not.
One person thinks following their ex on Instagram is no big deal. The other sees it as a massive red flag. And that mismatch? That’s where so many heartbreaks begin.
“You never told me you still talk to that girl from college.”
“I get that he’s your best friend, but do you really need to tell him everything about us?”
“We’ve slept together ten times and you still have Tinder?”
Cheating isn’t just about sex anymore. It’s about trust. It’s about attention, secrecy, and where your energy goes when it’s not going to your partner. Sometimes that’s physical. Sometimes it’s emotional. Sometimes it’s through a screen.
There are really three main types of cheating today:
The first is physical cheating. This one’s obvious: kissing, sex, anything intimate. But even here, there’s a gray area. Is hugging a woman at work too long cheating? Is getting a massage from a woman cheating? The point isn’t the act, it’s the secrecy, the hiding, the “you weren’t supposed to know.”
Next is emotional cheating. This one can hurt just as much, even if nothing physical has happened.
It’s when your partner starts sharing their thoughts, feelings, and emotional energy with someone else instead of you.
Think of the “work wife,” the ex they say they’re still friends with, or someone they seem to text more than they text you. Even if there’s no sex, it’s still betrayal.
Honestly, most cheating doesn’t start in the bedroom. It starts with little things, inside jokes you wouldn’t get, deep conversations that don’t include you, feelings they keep quiet about, and little secrets they don’t tell you. By the time anything physical happens, the emotional line was already crossed.
Then there’s digital cheating. This stuff is a mess. Secret social media accounts. Dating apps they “forgot to delete.” OnlyFans. Fake calculator apps. They don’t even have to leave the house to cheat anymore. They can be lying next to you and talking to ten different women.
Cheating has changed a lot, but one thing hasn’t: only you get to decide when a boundary’s been crossed.
Infidelity isn’t always about one specific act. It’s about breaking the trust that’s supposed to exist between two people. What feels like betrayal in one relationship might be totally fine in another. It depends on your boundaries, not anyone else’s.
People love to act like there’s some kind of cheating scale. Like watching porn is a 3, getting a massage with a happy ending is a 5, and sleeping with your best friend is a 10. People say things like, “At least it was just texts,” or “It’s not like they had sex.” But that’s not how pain works.
Some people stay after multiple affairs. Others walk away after one text. Hurt doesn’t follow some scale and it doesn’t have to.
No one else gets to decide what should hurt you or how much. You don’t need to justify it. If it broke your trust, it counts.
That’s what cheating really is: someone crossing a line you thought was safe.